Chicago Bears Final Grades For The Year

“Teach the ones below you something you've learned,
And learn from the ones above you;
Fear is your deepest wisdom...
For these last days...

Praying for the moon,
Hiding for the day,
These might be our last days...
I ain't gonna see you taken away...

Heading for the dawn,
Of our way of life,
You're welcome to give it your best try...
Look me in the eyes, oh, Bear-fans (my words),
This ain't your fairy tale...”

--Sonata Arctica from the song “This Ain’t Your Fairy Tale” from the CD Reckoning Night, 2004.


I did not want to write anything while really angry, but oh well; I am at least calmer, although the gout I am experiencing in my big toe has given me some angst.

For the Bears, the plan is simple, and much more simple than Lovie’s “we do not need to rebuild, we need to retool” type of thinking. I think we need to “remove” before we retool and rebuild. So here comes my “teaching grades” for the Bear students.

Speaking of “tools” here are my worst first:

Secondary: Tillman and Vasher who were given contract extensions both deserve D’s, but Vasher I am more willing to give an incomplete for the second year in the row. Finish a season, Nate. Corey Graham earns a B+ with promise showing. McBride—Mc Bye Bye—D.

Defensive Line: Last year we gave Tommy Harris some extra credit that he did not deserve and he has slipped to a D as well. Shows promise, but Harris, you are inconsistent. Dusty, D as well. No F’s on the line, but they need “extra effort” in pass rushing. Anderson is an incomplete because he was absent for much this year. Alex Brown deserves an A and Ogulinye deserves a B+. The rest, average: C.

Linebackers: Briggs played exceptionally well and deserves an A. Urlacher is not playing to his potential and makes careless errors at times. He needs to focus and thus earns a C. Hillenmeyer also a C, or a C minus. Good attitude is shown, but he lacks fundamental skills. Roach earns a C, but showing signs that he could improve.

Safeties: Mike Brown earns an A for effort, but has dropped off on his study skills, so he earns a B. Kevin Payne started to show some progress, but it quickly dropped off. I will give him a C with consideration for a counselor to look into a situation of ADD for him. Daniel Manning is earning a B with noted improvement over last year.

On Offense and how offensive can we go, here are the marks.

Quarterback: Kyle Orton earns a C. Showed promise early, but discovered he could not recover from a set-back. Such a shame, as he needs to focus. Kyle also needs to complete his homework and eliminate careless errors. Rex Grossman earns an F and is recommended to be held back a grade.

Running Backs: Matt Forte earned an A. New student to the class and showed he can work well with others. Kevin Smith earned a D for lack of consistency and too much absenteeism. It is recommended that he be reviewed for remediation. Adrian Peterson earned a C for carelessness and sloppy work. Jason McKie earned an incomplete due to prolonged illness.

Offensive Line: As a group, these students seem to have a gang mentality. They do not work well with others and they tend to show disrespect. Still Kruetz is recommend for a Behavioral Disorder review, Tate is recommended to be passed on to a more age-appropriate setting, Roberto Garza earned a B- and Josh Beekman earned a B+ as a promising start. Williams and St. Clair both failed miserably and I think they are copying from Metcalf’s lack of talent. St. Clair has a good attitude, but needs to be dropped to a lower grade, as he cannot compete with the others.

Receivers: They are all underachievers at this point. It is recommended that all be held back a grade and given a failure except for Hester who shows some promise with a C and Lloyd with a D, but be advised that Lloyd deserves some critical reviews if is not showing marked improvement next year. Booker, Davis, and the rest have earned solid F’s and I do not want them in my class any longer.

Tight Ends: Both Clark and Olsen have played well and shown they can work well with others. Olson needs to finish his work as he often takes short cuts, earning him a B. Clark needs to concentrate more, as he has earned a B-.

Special Teams: Maynard deserves an A for neatness and care. Gould earned a B and continues show great promise. Manning earned an A for effort and Hester has failed in this part of the class.

Coaches: Lovie Smith needs to show more compassion for his work and makes careless errors. He lacks maturity and may be over his head. It is recommended that he earns a D and be put under review. Babich and Turner need to be expelled for lack of self-control, lack of motivation, and having no imagination to their work. Both have failed.

Owner/General Manager: Jerry Angelo earns an F. Jerry may continue to insist he is gifted, but more than likely; he is a candidate for special education. For the McCaskey family, it is hoping that you remove yourself from the Board, as I still see favoritism from my higher-ups being shown.

You can take the teacher out of the school, but you can never take the school out of the teacher.

Class dismissed.

That Was Truly Winning Ugly.

“Take the time to close your eyes and look around,

'cause anyone who helped you out can let you down.

And look out, look out, look out, the voice is now the choir.

Can you feel it getting down to the wire? “
--Neil Young

Lord, what an ugly game.

The Bears were outclassed, outmatched, outmanned, and taken out of that game early. Then game the 4th Quarter.

Adrian Peterson mucks up a decent return with a horse collar, Alex Brown blocks a field goal, Brian Urlacher head-butts the coin for luck, and the Bears rely on the pure energy that is an injuried Matt Forte.

Guess what? The Bears pull a miracle out of their collective hats.

Now Lovie praises the team as they fight for their playoff lives.

Now Robbie Gould has been elevated to a higher status than he feels he deserves.

Now Mike McCarhy can go back and look like Larry Mondello and think about next year.

So the Bears need help from the Giants, from the Eagles (which is plausable) and they need the lowly Raiders to defeat the Bucs. Oh yes, they need to beat the Texans. All are not the most likely, but as I have always said, NOTHING GOOD EVER HAS COME OUT OF TEXAS (Cedric Benson, George Bush Jr., No Child Left Behind to name a few) although I like the Lone Ranger.

So suit up Bears, do not play like Paris Hilton’s chest (flat for those not in the know) and go out and freaking win a game without testing my heart valve every week.

And I thank you.

The Chicago Bears: Time Is Fleeting

“Even when we are out of touch;
Now I know that I’ve seen too much…
Seen too much.”
--Elvis Costello from the song “Possession” from the LP Get Happy, 1980.

You know, there is an old expression that goes: “be careful what you wish for; it just may come true.’

Truer words were written by me two weeks ago when the Bears were tromped by the Vikings.

Reality time Bear fans: they played an anemic Jag team (use your favorite joke wherever you wish on that one) and a good Saints team that crept back in the game.

The Bears will have another ten days to heal their wounds and rest before facing the Packers who have pride to play for to the Bears errant success.

So for the Bears to make the playoffs the following must happen, according to Yahoo Sports: The VIKINGS MUST LOSE. The Bears then have to outright win both games they have on their schedule. Considering the Vikings play The Cardinals, The Giants and Atlanta; that could happen. The problem is the Giants game is the last one where everyone rests their players.

Aside from that four of the five MUST happen:
— Washington to lose one of its three remaining games.
— Philadelphia to lose one of its last three.
— Atlanta to drop two of three.
— Dallas to lose two of three.
— Tampa Bay to lose its final three games.
I would think Washington might lose, Philly might lose, and the other scenarios are not as likely.

So Bear fans, where does that leave us?

Well, memories are wondrous things. Remember how the Bears lost to The Panthers, Bucs, and Falcons in the last few moments? If The Bears could have finished the game, they would be atop of the Division and looking back.

Reality is that the coaching staff lost those games more than the players.

Lovie Smith, if Mr. Excitement is to be retained, needs to let Ron “No Adjustments” Turner and Bruce “Who Me? I Dunno What To Do” Babbich go.

The Defense has lost intensity since Rivera left (not saying the Chargers are beating anyone like a drum) and the Offense has no cleverness to it whatsoever.

Management also needs to take a slap on the wrist (with some shackles) for allowing a situation where the team has NO viable wide receivers. I mean none. Brandon Lloyd had a catch that Houndi would have been proud to make last week, but Marty Booker is inconsistent (and slow and old) and Rashid Davis could not catch a cold in a Kindergarten class. The Hester experiment may have dividends, but I want results now.

Forte is a great shot in the arm and a player to build an offense around. Orton has proven himself as a leader, game manager, and a pretty strong quarterback. Sign him now.

John St. Clair (and I am sympathetic because I met his older sister and her husband at the Super Bowl) is a good guy, but he is a reserve player. Drafting an injured Williams was just plain stupid. Tait is showing his age, Kruetz is becoming an annoyance, and Garza is OK.

Defense lineman is supposed to be their strength, but I just do not see it. Harris shows up for a play a game; Anderson has been inconsistent and has dropped off; Alex Brown and Adewale Ogunleye are playing great football and are the bright spots in a bizarre unit; Israel Idonije and Marcus Harrison are quickly becoming my favorite players, and Anthony Adams now has proven that Dusty is a liability.

I like Urlacher’s play that last two weeks, Briggs is a stud, I have a bias to put Hillenmeyer in over Roach, and the rest of the linebacking corps do not impress.

Tillman needs to be reawakened (here is a clue Peanut: strip the ball AFTER the opponent is stopped otherwise you will be burned) Graham might be too small; Manning has impressed me more than I ever thought he would, Payne is more hype than player, and Mike Brown is a stud.

Rather than playing their highest picks, perhaps the Bears need to play their best players. Dusty was horrid in the line and Adams seems to make a difference. Graham is playing better than I expected over injury-proned Nate Vasher. Hillenmeyer was perhaps smaller than Roach, but he was in on the tackles. The difference between Orton and Grossman is like the difference of having a hot dog or a warm puppy for dinner.

Maybe the problems begin with Jerry “Super Wile E. Genius” Angelo.

Or maybe the problem for me is that I believed the pre-season hype.

I wish them well on the next three weeks. As Asia put it, “only time will tell.”

Sheesh, this team has me so frustrated, I am quoting Asia lyrics. Someone put me out of my misery, now.

Another Year Older

“Bass and treble heal every hurt

There's a rebel in a nylon shirt

But the words are a mystery,

I've heard

'Til you turn it down to 33 and 1/3

'Cos it helps with the elocution

Corporations turn revolutions.

45

So don't you weep and shed

Just change your name instead

What do you lose when it all goes to your head?
I heard something peculiar said:

"Perhaps he's got a shot and now he's dead."

45

Bells are chiming and tears are falling

It creeps up on you without a warning.

45

Every scratch, every click, every heartbeat

Every breath that I bless

I'd be lost, I confess

45”
--Elvis Costello "45" from the CD When I Was Cruel, 2004.

Well today I hit the big 45.

I guess there should be some reflection of sorts to go with it. I mean, over half of my life is over.

I have defied a few odds; added some self-destructive behaviors; probably not given enough thanks; probably have been too nice; probably been too mean; probably laughed when I should have felt some shame; probably felt some guilt when I did not need to; and probably made as many good decisions as I have made bad ones.

And thus my philosophy of life is the following: “Life is what we make of it; and ultimately one controls one’s own destiny.”

No whining; no complaints; no regrets; no changes (OK maybe some changes); and somewhere in the vast cosmos of my world is a strange feeling of acceptance and a serene spirit.

I have made great friends in this life; I have great family members; I have great cats that allow me to live here; I have a great career; and I have a great spirit of humor and an acute knowledge of humankind.

Somewhere along the way, the ills have mixed with the joys; but what can we do? Deal with it and move on.

Without sounding too cliché I amazed how the doors have closed and opened in the last two or three years. I have spiritually grown, I have upon occasion felt some divine intervention, and I have found myself when I thought I was lost. It has been just really surreal to be honest.

So here’s to another 45 (oh and we all know that is sooo unlikely—but what the Hell—my blog I can do with it what I wish).

So thanks go out to Mom and Dad, Karen, Mark, Bud, Mary, Angela. Matt, Fred, Kaleb, Dan, Dar, Danny, Jeff, Judy, Kathy, Jeff, Fogs, Chum, Guinn, my colleagues former and current, all those musicians whose music I own, the creators of Batman, my beer buddies, the friends of my youth, the friends of the now, my students, my bosses, my student teachers, Special Friends: Keith, Jeff, Joe, John, Dan, Jim, Scott, Denny, Denny, Charles, Mike, Elston, Mick, Milt, Andy, Zack, Eric, Megan, Gene, Lou Ann, Sharon, Jon, Roger, Beth, Gary, Dave, Martin, Amy, Kelly, Jaimie, Joanne, Tom, Linae, Murph, Mack, Don, Jarret, Jon, Derek, Jason, My partners in crime in my youth: Alex, Tim, Peter, James, Brian, Chevy, and our "women": Amy, Dawn, Gaylene, Gerri, Kari, Amy, Barb, Sue Mac, Mo, Abby, Lisa, Becky, Suzanne, and my medical team: Dr. Duncan, Dr. McCrisken, Dr. Wright, and Dawn.

And a very special thanks to a wonderful lady named Jen.

If I have not seen you on my list as much or often as I would like, consider it time and distance as opposed to anything else. We are all getting older. I often think good thoughts of you all.

Without you folks, I never would have made it to “45.”