Doctors All Say The Same Thing

“Don’t want to a fat man…”
--Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull.



I went to the doctor’s today for my annual check-up, and he said I was fine.

He also said I eat crummy food which is why I have gas in my stomach and my weight went up.

I asked him to check on something, as I have a bulge in the center of the chest.

“Oh that; it’s a surgical hernia,” he said.

“What’s that?” I asked.

Now get this: apparently if one has surgery multiple times in the same area, it can cause the muscles to separate and cause the herniated syndrome, which means a bulge results from the tissue.

“It’s not a big deal” the Doctor muttered. “You can hardly notice it; it is small.”

Well, I noticed it. He then said the dreaded words I hate to hear: “Lose weight; it will help.”

I came home and sat with my good friend Chumley, the now 27 pound cat; certainly he would understand.

My Doctor is in his fifties and weighs about 140 to 160. He’s a great guy; smart, good sense of humor, honest, calms me down, fit, sporting a tan and a sports car.

I do not begrudge him his success; but come on. Sure the 140 pound guy can easily say lose fifty pounds.

Here is the clue though; I was that scrawny guy at one point. Crummy food and excellent beer forced my body to metamorphosis into what it is.

As I replayed the conversation in my mind and explained it to friend Chumley, the big cat rolled over and went to sleep

It was then I decided that Chumley and I are on a diet and we will exercise more. Granted, neither Chumley nor I want this; but we have to do it. Less treats for both of us; more exercise; less lying around; and less beer—well for Chumley—me, I will drink his.

More of less as time moves on…stay tuned.

One Month Away

“Do you remember those high school nights?
They were the best those high school nights…”
--Dave Edmunds, "High School Nights" from Porkys II, 1982.

School/my job begins in one brief month.

Seems like just two weeks ago, I was there. Oh I was.

I forgot; summer school.

Well the new school year is quickly approaching and changes are looming on the horizon.

I inherited an excellent department in no small part thanks to the effort of mentor Gene Burnett. New Department Chair duties; I have waited a while and I will be having some fun. I think I will use my watch, evaluate, listen, and learn approach before I do too much “departmentalizing.”

I am developing a new course on Illinois Studies, which should be cool as we explore Chicago History (the Fire, the 1968 Democratic Convention and the like—heck I may even kick in some Disco Demolition Night), Local History, Illinois In The Civil War, Illinois Geography, Illinois Government, and dare I say it: Presidential and Economic History of Illinois. All of it will give flair to personalizing ideas of the course to the folks taking it. It is a new concept in that it will all be delivered in a more participatory style of teaching and I think I will have to deliver my best to have it work—and it will be a blast.

Aside from that, the school will have two new administrators and a former one that moved up the ranks.

Perhaps the most innovative and popular change this new season will be the addition of the new COPY MACHINE! The old one sucked eggs.

I offer this video for my good friends and fellow educators Danny and Elston as I imagine us “Office Spacing” the old machine:



I’m the one with the glasses.

Later.

More from the Tuesday Tapper Crew

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
--Ben Franklin


I feel a bit like Royko describing the happenings in the Billy Goat.

I arrived early yesterday for Tuesday Tapper at my favorite watering hole—Jacks—and I was joined by Rick. We talked of the trip he and Dan took to Wisconsin and the usual “stopping up the toilet” stories. Uncle Dan arrived next to dispel the “stopping up the toilet” stories. He was enlightening when he described the caught on the lake in the rain story. Josh—a bartender—told us how Jacks was going through litigation. Adam—bartender extraordinaire gave Rick, Dan, and me a freebie in celebration of his now constant Tuesday Tapper bartending duties. We like Adam a great deal, so we tipped him generously.

Mike T. next showed and we discussed the Bears and the dilemma of Briggs. Charles came in and we talked of the Rogue Rye we all had to try, and as Dan put it—“You are a pussy if you do not try it.” Even I released my summer grip of wheat beers to sample the Rye—mighty tasty if I say so myself. I went back to my pussy wheat beers after.

Mike H. joined us later with sad news of the loss of a family member. All passed good wishes to Mike and gave their various condolences, and then Denny showed.

I talked to Mike H. about our usual love of rock music—mostly Neil Young, as I encouraged him to buy the new Nick Lowe and to keep an eye on the new Neil Young Box set.

Rick and I passed some crap to each other as we joked about life in general. Uncle Dan and I discussed family matters.

Denny talked of humanity and the weakness of mankind with me.

Throughout the stories of tragedy, enlightenment, and woe, we all reached an understanding. Life is good, and beer tastes great.

The gentlemen I quench my parched taste of brew with each and every Tuesday were interested in my new Sam Adams Glasses (see picture above) sent to me via my subscription to About Beer Magazine.

They were also looking out for my well-being when discussing impending personal issues. They even saluted my promotion as department chair.

I had to buy a round—maybe that was why they saluted me???? I have to check on that.

Life is an amazing trip—enjoy and prost!

For Karen and Mark...Thanks!

“I remember way back then when everything was true and when
We would have such a very good time…
Such a fine time, such a happy time…
And I remember how we'd play, simply waste the day away.
Our house, was our castle and our keep
Our house, in the middle of our street
Our house, that was where we used to sleep
Our house, in the middle of our street.”

--“Our House” by Madness, 1981.



I wanted to take a moment to “get” sappy.

The last few months have been “interesting” to say the least, but there is a constant, and that is the support from Karen and Mark.

Karen is my sister who is six years older than me, and Mark is my brother four years my elder. Hmm…maybe I was a mistake. Mom and Dad will answer to that. I will not.

Karen has dealt with some personal tragedy as to the loss of her Grandson. Mark has moved and is starting a paper from the bottom up.

Both are stressed with their recent changes.

Both have continued to be supportive of me.

It is said that the sibling relationship is the longest lasting—longer than a parent and a child and longer than friends, marriage partners, or pets.

I have known and tormented Karen for 43 years; as long as I have been a nuisance for Mark.

Still, I trust the two of them. Still, I am proud of the two of them. Still, I love the two of them too.

When I was ill, Karen cared for me. When I was down, Mark cheered me up. They made sacrifices, as did my folks when I was a sick kid.

Now that life has turned, not better or worst, just turned; they have welcomed me back into the fold and have been supportive.

So thanks.

Thanks for the 40th Birthday party; thanks for coming down when I was having surgery; thanks for helping me through some troubled times; and thanks for putting up with…well…thanks for putting up with me and (as one of my co-workers referred) “Dark Eric.” Maybe I took that Batman thing too seriously.

Anyway, a glimpse in the personal psyche aside, I am proud of Karen and Mark and hope I can make them regain their pride in me.

Next week, something more humorous or curmudgeon like, I promise. If this one bothers you, go read my Metal Blog.

Nick Lowe Is Documenting My Life

“Has it been a long and bumpy road…
Has it been a long and bitter road…
In my mind forever young.”
--Nick Lowe from “Long Limbed-Girl” from At My Age, 2007.

Some of my favorite artists, I must admit, have been fun to grow old with. And as Nick Lowe sings, “lately, I’ve let things slide.”

The new Nick Lowe album came out last week, At My Age, which is a part of the smoke-filled hazed CD’s that he began with the revival Impossible Birds.

For an all-too brief history, Nick Lowe was a Pub Rocker from London, playing in Brinsley Schwartz until he met Dave Edmunds and set out on his own. Lowe and Edmunds formed Rockpile (one of my all-time favorite bands) which became a throw-back group. Known as the Jesus of Cool, among other nicknames, he produced Elvis Costello, Edmunds, the Flaming Groovies, and others on Stiff Records. The eventual fallout with Edmunds (two too large egos) perpetuated a solo career. Added a marriage with Johnny Cash’s daughter, the man hit his musical roots in such bands as the Cowboy Outfit, and Little Village among others.

Now the fifty-something Lowe has worked out his angst and create a smooth soul with some country twangs. It worked as the pure pop for now people writer has lived a well-traveled road and offers advice and solitude.

I will not dissect the latest effort, but the first “hit,” the Club is just incredible.

I have followed Lowe’s career when it was not easy to do so (Pinker than Previous hits a negative tone), as he has combined with many artists such as Huey Lewis (The Rose of England).

Still I stood beside him.

Now Nick the Knife is reaching the twilight of his career and intellectually I understand his songs better as I feel that he and Elvis Costello have joined me on the road of experience. Years later with a divorce, fame, down–on-his-luck attitude, peace, love, and understanding, Nick Lowe has delivered a satisfying album, as well as documented a few of the chronicles of my life.