The Game is On

“It’s just a fantasy,
It’s not the real thing
It’s just a fantasy
Sometimes a fantasy, is all you need…”

Billy Joel from the song "Just a Fantasy" from the LP Glass Houses, 1979

The crisp autumn air is soon to be upon us, and the clicking of the television will echo through the house on my Sunday ritual. Ahh…I love football.

Millions of un-athletic; pseudo experts, and basic geeks will don their favorite team jersey and cheer on various players on various teams. No, they are not fickle fans; they are fantasy footballers who have various players on various teams. Why is the Philadelphia vs. Arizona game so interesting to me this year? Well, I have Donavan McNabb as my quarterback and Brian Westbrook as a running back and Anquan Bolden as a wide receiver. This game could greatly affect my life.

I am in a league where we do not play for money. I have been in money leagues before, and fights usually ensue. I have played with the same basic league for the past five years, and there are rivalries of sorts. I have won this league twice, placed dead last once, ended in the middle once, and lost in the championship once—which means I placed second.

I have some sort of uncanny luck at times. The first year I won the championship was Kurt Warner’s breakthrough year. I also drafted LaDanion Thomlinson and Edgerin James as my runningbacks, while I snagged TE Gonzales. Not too shabby.

The other year I won, I had Priest Holmes in his biggest year. I do not even remember the rest of my team, but I had Holmes and that was all I needed.

Last year when I was second, I had a quarterback combination of Pennington, Griese, and Vick. I also drafted Holmes again and was fortunate enough to have Curtis Martin, who had his biggest year ever last year.

This year I have depth in the quarterback area of Donavan McNabb and Marc Bulger; I have a decent running back corps led by Edgerin James, with Brian Westbrook and Rudi Johnson. My tight ends are very solid with Antonio Gates and Todd Heap. My receivers are OK, but this is my biggest gamble with Joe Horn as a solid player, backed with Bolden, Deion Branch and Roy Williams. I have excellent kickers in Mike Vanderjact and Jeff Wilkins, and my defenses are good in the Ravens and the Panthers.

I am hoping to share the joy of fantasy football victories with my fellow players. I will scream, shout, cry and cajole the team to victories. I will scheme and plot my success and I will emerge with a respectable team.

If successful, the fantasy is a pleasant dream; if not, then the fantasy will be a nightmare.

We Are The Bears; No Shuffling Crew (This Year)

“And all the world is football shaped,
It’s just for me to kick in space…”
--Andy Partridge of XTC—Senses Working Overtime 1982.

I could cry.

The Chicago Bears (the proverbial MY Team in my household) have suffered another major injury. The frustration of being a Chicago Bears fan has tested my limits, especially this year when the fans are celebrating the 20th Anniversary of the Super Bowl. To celebrate this is a double-edged sword. On one hand, the fans relive the greatest moments in Bear history. On the other hand, we are admitting that we have not done "jack-sh!t" since then.

Celebrate the past—mourn the present. I am reminded of the ELO song..."I can't get it out of my head..." The mighty have fallen so fast.

On Friday evening, the Bears took a major tumble when starting quarterback Rex Grossman went down with a broken ankle in the early part of the second quarter on a rotten astro-turf, untested field. I sent an email to my Bear fan friends and they all wrote back telling me I was too harsh on the management, as I was quite critical of Jerry (Wanna Buy a Used Car) Angelo and Lovie (Uh…we like what we got) Smith. I was told by more than a few folks that Grossman was untested. I say, who cares? If we know he is the starter, why not protect him???? But I digress.

Fine--I let the comments of others sink in, but I was hoping for a 9 and 7 season.

9 and 7 seems tough, but let’s look at some honest facts. The Bears have an easier schedule. They are playing in arguably the worst division in football. The Packers are down without some key offensive line players; the Vikings are Moss-less and I hate them (which has nothing to do with how well they will play) and they do not have an established running back; and the Lions are…well…the Lions. They simply stink. I figured the Bears have the best defense in the group and with the addition of Mohammad and the new O-Line; the Bears have made some good moves in the right direction. Therefore, 9 and 7 is plausable.

Then they played Grossman on a bad field in a meaningless game and now, their season is once again facing a no quarterback lull. Chad Hutchison? I mean, c’mon now. He is wretched. Kyle (Don’t Call Me "Cowboy Bob") Orton will probably end up starting. Kurt Kittner—how low can we go? I see the limits. Why would this team for the FOURTH YEAR IN A ROW, go into a season without an established quarterback? The management is kidding themselves and ripping off the fans again.

And to be fair, the Bears also need a starting linebacker (Hunter is a great guy--but no starting linebacker); a tight end; and SOMEONE to emerge as a second wide receiver and a "clutch" go-to receiver.

Watching the Bears for me is like watching the last few seasons of NYPD Blue. I watched it for so long, I had to see how it ended, even if I knew it stunk. Its kind of like some of my collections of comics or CDs--as I own all of the Stones stuff, even though I know Goat's Head Soup is terrible (minus the song Angie) and I own Dirty Work (lousy album on anyone's standards) and I even own Emotional Rescue--wow, it SUCKS! The Bears to me are the same--I will whine and curse and I will, without a doubt, watch EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF EVERY SINGLE GAME--even if they are down by fifty points (which hey, could quite possibly happen). Who is the idiot in this scenerio?

So let’s cheer for the Defense of the Monsters of Midway. Let’s pray that the bum Benson will end his hold out (the little snot) so we do not HAVE to rely on Jones since the Bears were DUMB enough to bench and subsequently lose Anthony Thomas (you remember him—he was rookie of the year a few brief years ago). Let’s hope that Orton will have a Ben R. from the Steelers type of year.

Pictured above is Tom Waddle of the Bears and now a on-air personality in Chicago Sports with me at a fund raiser for the United Way. As Tom Waddle told me, the Bears management at times, does not always think with their football minds—they think with the checkbook.

And a shame it is.

If they are 6 and 10 or worse this season, I say Jerry Angelo should be fired and sent back to Tampa Bay.

If they are 9 and 7 or better, Jerry Angelo is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

I am not fickle; I am a Bear fan.

Oh and KUDOS to the Bears for dumping Hub Arkush from the radio broadcast. I have heard critical comments about the Bears since they no longer have cheerleaders. To those people I say listen to the radio team. You will hear more “cheerleading” and less honesty than you can imagine.

Go Bears (and no, I will not draft a single one of them for my fantasy football team)!

By the way, I still remember Pam's immortal words at the beginning of EVERY season "Football is starting--I could cry."

This year, yeah, me, too!

Holy Comic Con, Batfan!

“So c’mon your childhood heroes
Won’t you rise up from the pages
Of your comic books, your super crooks
And show us all the way

We’ll have Superman for President,
Let Robin Save the Day”

--Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull—Thick As A Brick, 1972.

If I were to scream “hey geek” this weekend, I would have heard 50 thousand strong look back and yell, “What?”

This weekend, much to the dismay of my loyal eBay customers whose orders I will send on Thursday, I went to the Chicago Comic Convention.

To say this was geeky to the Nth degree would be a vast understatement—but I am among them, so its OK.

My brother-in-law Jeff and I traveled to the event with arms and wallets opened. He was driving a sporty Mini-Cooper that drew some stares and attention, as I ploughed through the Chicago Suburbia in my 2004 Saturn Ion II. We had a good time.

I must admit it was fun watching comic creators at their craft drawing sketches and talking about the industry. I met some very nice guys at TOP SHELF who were more than creators—they were folks who spoke with a quiet liberal, yet intelligent voice.

I chatted at length with Walt Simonson—writer of Thor and Superman—about his Manhunter series in 1973. He signed my trade paperback—thanks Walt. I spoke to the artists of Batman Year One: Scarecrow; I spoke to Mark Waid at great length about how well he wrote the Flash and the FF (that was more for Jeff as he is a fan of the Fantastic Four) and told him I would like to see him write for the HAWKMAN series (a personal favorite), to which he responded that he would love to “do” Hawkman. I was a total fan-boy.

I met with a former student, Charles, who is a comic geek to a degree. He, like Jeff, was more interested in independent characters and the humorous (albeit sick humor) of the industry. Still, Charles sported a mighty Green Lantern T-Shirt (hopefully Kyle, Charles, not that boring Hal Jordan crap). All in good fun.

I spent more than I should have spent on myself; grabbed a few Christmas Presents, a birthday present for one of my favorite nephews; and enjoyed the company of a good friend in Jeff.

I have a Masters plus 54 hours and Jeff has a doctorate and if we are intelligent enough to be comic geeks, then we wear it proudly.

I sympathize with our wives, so I thought these lyrics from Ookla the Mok’s big hit, Stop Talking About Comic Books, Or I’ll Kill You,” would suffice:

”Stop talking about comic books or I’ll kill you.
I don’t care if the Hulk could defeat the Man of Steel.
I’m gonna rearrange your face if you continue to debate
whether Logan’s claws could pierce Steve Roger’s shield.
I just couldn’t care less if they bring back Kraven,
and I don’t care if Spiderman’s a clone.
Stop spending all our cash
on back issues of the Flash,
or I swear to God you’re gonna spend your twilight years alone.
Okay, you can call them graphic novels,
but they’re still just plain old comic books to me,
and I don’t see why you must always ceaselessly discuss
the post-Zero hour continuity.
For the last time I won’t read those Kirby Xmen.
You know that I prefer the work he did for DC.
And if you don’t want to die
you’ll lose that Overstreet Price Guide,
Comic Buyer’s Guide, and Wizard Magazine,
but please get the new Invisibles for me.”

My father went to comic convention in Florida to snag me a signed Batman book, very cool Dad—by the way; and he told me he was somewhat frightened of the geeks that he saw. “Lots of weirdos, there” I seem to recall him saying.

And just imagine that somewhere in that gene pool, another weirdo exists.

And I would never narc my very cool father out for being a Captain Marvel fan—Shazam! (Just to let you know—I grabbed a Jackson Bostwick autograph—the actor who played Captain Marvel on the 1970s television show).

The Legacy lives on…..

People Let Me Tell Ya 'Bout My Best Friend(s)

“We move like cagey tigers
We couldn't get closer than this
The way we walk
The way we talk
The way we stalk
The way we kiss
We slip through the streets
While everyone sleeps
Getting bigger and sleeker
And wider and brighter
We bite and scratch and scream all night

Let's go and
Throw all the songs we know
Into the sea
You and me
All these years and no one heard
I'll show you in spring
It's a treacherous thing
We missed you hissed the lovecats”

Robert Smith—The Cure, “Lovecats” 1980.

We have two cats—because one just was not enough. Our first cat, a black cat with a white crest on her chest, is part Siamese. When I tell people that, they go into some sort of convulsions based on the Lady and The Tramp film, which has more than a fair share of anti-Asian prejudice floating around in it. She is a great animal who is very territorial and very spirited. She tends to enjoy my wife’s company much more than my company, but I play sloppy seconds on the summer days when I am home. She likes to sit on my lap when I play CD’s in front of the stereo with the headphones on; she only trusts me when it comes to brushing and giving medicines; and she, generally speaking, likes to hang out whenever I am in the house. She is intelligent and very obedient and loyal. She is more dog-like than any other cat I have ever seen. She chirps to announce herself when she approaches, and she is not one to shy away from cleaning my face for me.

Our other cat is a three-legged tabby found abandoned in an apartment. She has tiger-stripes and is a gray and brown mix (brundle) cat. She is afraid of most things and has issues with most people—in fact most neighbors or guests have never seen her. When she needs her ears scratched, she leans close to me and mews and twiddles her stump. Apparently I am the only human that can scratch her ears to her satisfaction. She is more my cat and she sleeps on my feet. She conveys many moods, but I knew I was “home” after surgery in October when she came out of hiding, even with strangers in the room to see me. It was obvious she missed me and she has a power over me. I cannot be angry at much when this little cat sits near me and nudges me.

I have come to some conclusions about people and their pets, and often times as I teach, I have thought of those conclusions. I have met people who care less about their own kids than I do my cats. I have met people (probably like me) who view their pets as their “kids” of sort. I have seen people not prepare decent meals for their kids, but make sure to feed their pets. And I have seen people neglect their pets and behave cruelly to them, as they do their kids. Excuse the parallels to parenting, but they truly exist.

A few years ago, some carjacker in LA or somewhere, pulled a dog out of a car and threw it in the traffic. Then he shot people. The general public wanted to kill the guy because he harmed a dog.

And you know, I was thinking the same.

I went to a garage sale yesterday and this guy had a little dog. I could tell he loved the animal and the dog loved this elderly gentleman. I asked him if I could pet the dog and he said it was fine. The dog growled at me as I approached him and his master, so I backed off. He rubbed the dog’s head and said that the dog would not bite, but was frightened of strangers. He also told me that his wife had passed, his kids moved out and moved on with their own lives, and this little dog and he had each other in the world.

I told him that was why the dog growled—it did not want me or anyone else to ruin his world. I did not approach the animal again—giving it the respect it deserved. We have a little sign my wife bought and the inscription reads as follows:

“I Love my pets—this is their home
From which I hope they’ll never roam.
They’re faithful friends—I love them best
This is THEIR home—you are a guest.
If pets, to you, are just a peeve
Then, by all means, feel free to leave.”

Shakespeare it is not, but the idea is very clear.

I guess we must remember that our pets are sometimes chosen by us, but their ability to stay with us and grow older with us, is because of how we treat them…just like that dog with the elderly man, that three—legged cat of mine, and that ornery black cat of my wife’s. If you ever want to adopt a pet, please visit a local animal shelter and take a good look at the selections.

Some people want a purebred dog like a shepherd or a collie or a terrier or a beagle; but I say, go visit a shelter and grab a “who done it” and take the entire breed’s home in the same animal.

As far as cats, do not neglect the older cats for a kitten. Older cats adapt much more easily to a new household and are very loyal to their new owners.

Here’s a link to our local shelter: http://www.hscipets.org/sitemenu.htm

You can see my tabby’s story from that site on this link: http://www.hscipets.org/successstories005.htm

We even had Doug Wilson of Trading Spaces fame, set up a fund raiser for us and he is pictured signing an autograph with my wife on this link: http://www.hscipets.org/event023.htm

And hey, you can visit my personal favorite fund raiser here on this link for THE TWELVE BEERS OF CHRISTMAS—Ho Ho Ho: http://www.hscipets.org/event054.htm

Enjoy….