For the Heroes Out There

“What Opportunities Did We Allow To Flow By
Feeling Like The Timing Wasn't Quite Right?
What Kind Of Magic Might Have Worked If We Had Stayed Calm,
Couldn't I Have Given You A Better Life?
If I Never Did It, I Was Only Waiting
For A Better Moment That Didn't Come.
There Never Could Be A Better Moment
Than This One, This One.”
--Sir Paul McCartney from “This One” from Flowers In The Dirt, 1990.

The True test of humanity is to reach out to help those who need aid.

Hence, every year a group of teachers and I try to aid the community by urging our fellow faculty members and the students to raise money to help the United Way.

One year the assistant principal and I kissed a pig, the following year we shaved our heads. Three years later, the Spanish teacher and I dressed as cheerleaders and danced with the ladies and performed a cheer. This year, the same Spanish teacher, a new teacher, and I decided to dress as Superheroes and run an obstacle course. All in good fun.

We had to run through “fire” (cardboard), ride on scooters, make three baskets, eat pies to find a ring, run through a web, and rescue a damsel in distress (cheerleader wrapped in duct tape in a chair). All in all, some oddly wild and creative fun—and best of all it did not include farm animals, my losing my already thinning hair follicles, and dressing drag.

So from Batman, a special thanks to Elston Superman (who won—Kryptonian power) Danny Spider-Man, and to the real heroes—the local United Way.
And we all know that Batman let them win…

Quick Observations of late...

“Give Blood—And there are some that say, it’s not enough”
“Give Blood” by Pete Townshend of the WHO
I noticed that the Olympic viewing is down—hmmm…what could be the reason…hmmm…Oh I know—IT IS BORING—and I know why. I have looked for and not found when HOCKEY is on. Other than football, my favorite sport to watch is HOCKEY. So, why does NBC not show it? Every time I turn on the Olympics, I see skating and couples skating, and speed skating. Enough of it, I want to see skating where people are clobbered—hence HOCKEY. Show some ‘eh! I want BLOOD!!!!

“Feeling guilty, feeling scared—hidden cameras everywhere
Paranoia meet destroyer”
“Paranoia” by Ray Davies of The Kinks
I write one sarcastic commentary about Vice-President “Dick” Cheney and my blog profile goes from 30 hits to 70. Hmm…I wonder if my lines are wire tapped as well.


“I can see you in the morning when you go to school
Don’t forget your books, you know you’ve got to learn the Golden Rule”
--“School” by Supertramp
Are kids becoming less intelligent? I think not when it comes to the girls. According to a recent study in Time, boys are slipping through the cracks. The time article points to video games as a major motivator. I strongly disagree. Why are boys slipping? Girls. If some of you reading this have high school age girls, you would not be shocked at what they wear at times—the rest of you, I mean, it is more like a burlesque show—and let’s face it, I am not a prude in any manner. I think this is the most annoying part of revenge when it comes to women—they want to leave men in their wake—and they are using sex appeal to do it. Sigmund Freud was right.

“Bear Down Chicago Bears”
Bears Theme Song
The Bears are looking at Antwone Randal El for a wide receiver spot. Say “Good Bye” to Justin Gage. I say “Good riddance.”

“What can this strange device be; when I touch it, it gives forth a sound”
--“2112” Geddy Lee of Rush
Best New Groups.
Looking for some interesting music? Hey, why not, we all are. The Killers are a great band from the UK and I highly recommend the Fall Out Boy CD. I know they are poppy and all, but their songs are catchy and fun. Franz Ferdinand is incredible as well. My students lent me the new System of a Down (not for me) and Him (equally annoying). One student burned a Test Ickles CD—which no matter how bad they are, they have a great name. I remember when some friends of mine and I wanted to start a punk band and named ourselves Genghis Kahn and the Con Men. We never really played but we wrote a few songs Wow What A Rush When The Toilet Won’t Flush and Your Mom Wears Pink—pseudo Ramones-induced Punk. The latter song was my favorite about a creepy kid next store checking out his friend’s mom when she changed clothes with the classic lines “Your Mom wears pink; I ain’t wrong; Your Father stinks; So does this song.” Classic—fill in your favorite three chords played extremely fast and you get the idea.

“Baby It’s Cold Outside…”
When I was a kid, it seems winters were colder and lasted longer. Global warming; it’s a bear. I never really thought about it much, but here is my gage of bad weather. If the weather is bad, my district will call off school. In the last five years in Central Illinois, our district has called school off twice. Two days in five years; that is unreal. We are warming up and to a degree; it’s not bad because I hate driving in the snow. On the other hand, I love those days off.

“So fond of the fabric So fond of fabrication From comic books to tragic Through the heart of complications”
“King Horse” by Elvis Costello
Comic News
DC is revamping everything and most comic geeks like it. Not me; I am a bit bored. They took years to make Batman gritty and kind of amoral; and now they will throw it away to make him more “kid friendly.” How annoying. They also plan to change Flash, Hawkman, Aquaman, and Wonder Woman. I love it when they try to make sense of comics. I mean, really, is there a reason for this? Readers can ignore the fact that Batman does not age as easily as they ignore the fact that flight for Superman defies the laws of physics. He has no propulsion and no steering mechanism, but he flies. Move on—if people are really concerned about reality in comics, why not point out that there is no law enforcement official in the world who would hold back trained officers in catching criminals just so some nut job dressed as a Bat, a Spider, A Hawk, Robin Hood, or any number of other costumes could do so. He’s being fired in a week. Leave comics alone—we know its fantasy.

“And In The End”
“Abbey Road Medley” by Sir Paul McCartney of the Beatles

The most stupid educator in the word award goes to….
David Irving who is a “right wing” British Historian who denied there was a Holocaust and said Hitler was unaware of anything. This guy is not only a God-awful teacher, but he is the worst historian I have ever heard of. As a history teacher, I think two years of jail is not enough—I say spend the rest of his life there and we will deny you ever went. Oh, and besides being a God-awful teacher and a horrid historian; people in authority who spout this sort of crap are also lousy human beings.

Until next time America…(that was in case Bill O’Riley wants to sue me)

Just "Shooting the Breeze" Today

"Happiness is a Warm Gun"--John Lennon.

Oh Well, It was inevitable. My comments are in BOLD and meant as comic relief—considering Whittington is doing alright, all’s fair in ironic satire, I suppose. All I can say is really to ask a question—anyone out there think we need new gun control laws and more restrictions?

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas (Feb. 12) - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets.

I swear I heard he shot Dan Quayle. I just figured he was annoyed by the old vice president—and who would not be?

Harry Whittington, a millionaire attorney from Austin, was in stable condition in the intensive care unit of a Corpus Christi hospital Sunday.

"He is stable and doing well. It was almost like he was spending time with me in my living room," said hospital administrator Peter Banko, who visited Whittington.

Banko must be a taxidermist.

Banko said Whittington was in the intensive care unit because his condition warranted it, but he didn't elaborate. Whittington sent word through a hospital official that he would have no comment on the incident out of respect for Cheney.

Or fear of Cheney. Imagine an Edward G. Robinson voice. “Yeah, see punk, yeah.”

The accident occurred Saturday at a ranch in south Texas where the vice president and several companions were hunting quail. It was not reported publicly by the vice president's office for nearly 24 hours, and then only after it was reported locally by the Corpus Christi Caller-Times on its Web site Sunday.

Full disclosure from the administration, as always.

Katharine Armstrong, the ranch's owner, said Sunday that Cheney was using a 28-gauge shotgun and that Whittington was about 30 yards away when he was hit in the cheek, neck and chest.

Wow, he can aim as well as he can legislate. Just shoot ‘em anywhere and let God sort it out.

Each of the hunters was wearing a bright orange vest at the time, Armstrong told reporters at the ranch about 60 miles southwest of Corpus Christi. She said Whittington was "alert and doing fine."

Ok, not only is Cheney a bad aim, he is blind and cannot see orange colors.

Armstrong told The Associated Press emergency personnel traveling with Cheney tended to Whittington before an ambulance - routinely on call because of the vice president's presence - took him to a hospital in Kingsville. From there, Whittington was flown by helicopter to Corpus Christi about 40 miles away.

Yes, when Cheney is around, someone always needs an ambulance. What does this mean?

Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president met with Whittington at the hospital on Sunday. Cheney "was pleased to see that he's doing fine and in good spirits," she said.

He has to be in good spirits or Cheney will “finish the job.”

Armstrong said she was watching from a car while Cheney, Whittington and another hunter got out of the vehicle to shoot at a covey of quail.

Whittington shot a bird and went to retrieve it in the tall grass, while Cheney and the third hunter walked to another spot and discovered a second covey.

Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," Armstrong said.

I see, here’s the spin, it is NOT Cheney’s fault.

"The vice president didn't see him," she continued. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

Reagan used SALT and Cheney uses Pepper. This sounds logical.

Whittington has been a private practice attorney in Austin since 1950 and has long been active in Texas Republican politics. He's been appointed to several state boards, including when then-Gov. George W. Bush named him to the Texas Funeral Service Commission.

How do you feel about voting against gun control now, pal?

McBride said the vice president's office did not tell reporters about the accident Saturday because they were deferring to Armstrong to handle the announcement of what happened on her property.

What? If any Republican ever mentions Kennedy on that bridge again, I will defer to this story.

Armstrong, owner of the Armstrong Ranch where the accident occurred, said Whittington was bleeding after he was shot and Cheney was very apologetic.

Heh heh. I’m sorry I nearly killed you, but by God we have us some good eatin’ tonight!

"It broke the skin," she said of the shotgun pellets. "It knocked him silly. But he was fine. He was talking. His eyes were open. It didn't get in his eyes or anything like that.

Well, that’s good—broke skin, knocked silly, missed the eyes—but hey, he’s doing fine—this makes it all ok.

"Fortunately, the vice president has got a lot of medical people around him and so they were right there and probably more cautious than we would have been," she said. "The vice president has got an ambulance on call, so the ambulance came."

Cheney must be a riot at parties. “No No, I will call my personal ambulance—the president has airforce one and I have medical transport three.”

Cheney is an avid hunter who makes annual trips to South Dakota to hunt pheasants. He also travels frequently to Arkansas to hunt ducks, among other places.

Wanna bet he will not have any other person join him again?

Armstrong said Cheney is a longtime friend who comes to the ranch to hunt about once a year and is "a very safe sportsman." She said Whittington is a regular, too, but she thought it was the first time the two men hunted together.

"This is something that happens from time to time. You know, I've been peppered pretty well myself," said Armstrong.

Yeah, whenever the current administration comes around. Besides, according to Armstrong it must be “ok” to be shot. What is it with these people. WHITTINGTON WAS SHOT, FOR GOD’S SAKE!

The 50,000-acre Armstrong ranch has been in the influential south Texas family since the turn of the last century. Katharine is the daughter of Tobin Armstrong, a politically connected rancher who has been a guest at the White House and spent 48 years as director of the Texas and Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association. He died in October. Cheney was among the dignitaries who attended his funeral.

Uh, I have a joke about this, but even I think it is too rude.

Cheney was legally hunting with a license he purchased in November, Texas Parks and Wildlife Department spokesman Steve Lightfoot said. The vice president flew back to Washington on Sunday evening, according to his office.

Here’s a thought folks—revoke the license. Sorry Mr. Cheney, but it seems that you actually screwed up more than your partner. You know, maybe he ought to watch ranch movies like Brokeback Mountain before he decides to use another gun on a ranch. At least these guys do not “pepper each other,” or maybe they do…thank you for that sick joke.

Long Life and Good Health to You...

“All dead all dead
But I should not grieve
In time it comes to everyone
All dead all dead
But in hope I breathe
Of course I don't believe
You're dead and gone
All dead and gone.”

Freddie Mercury, Queen from the song “All Dead” from the album News Of The World, 1975.

Ok, after you read the lyrics and before you start thinking I am morbid or have a death wish or am not dealing with heart surgery well; let me explain.

I am fine.

I found a mondo-bizarro website that I would encourage you to visit: http://users.efortress.com/doc-rock/deadrock.html. It is the Dead Rock Stars Club.

Morbid, I know, but fascinating as well.

Here are some choice things:

Roy Buchanan - Died 8-14-1988 - Hung himself in a police cell ( Blues ) Born 9-23-1939 in Ozark, Arkansas, U.S. (He did,"Five String Blues" and "My Baby Says She's Gonna Leave Me").

Ugh! How morbid.

Mickey Finn - Died 1-11-2003 in Croydon, south of London, England - Possibly kidney and/or liver problems ( Rock ) Born 6-3-1947 - Percussionist and singer - Was a member of T.Rex (They did, "Bang A Gong (Get It On)" and "Telegram Sam") and later led Mickey Finn's T.Rex after singer Marc Bolan also of T.Rex died - Worked with Hapshash and Coloured Coat. I am a T. Rex fan and I did not know he died.

Paul Atkinson - Died 4-1-2004 in Santa Monica, CA, U.S. - Liver and kidney disease ( Rock ) Born 3-19-1946 in Cuffley, Herts, England - Guitarist - Was a member of The Zombies (They did, "She's Not There" and "Time Of The Season") - He also was a record executive signing ABBA, Bruce Hornsby, Mr. Mister, Michael Penn, Judas Priest and Patty Smyth.
Again, as a fan of 1960s music, sorry to see he is gone.

I was flipping through my favs list and I stumbled onto this site. I spent an hour or two looking at all of the artists and bands and the guys whose names I did know had died or had forgotten about.

Interesting and sad, but their music lives on.

What prompted this curiosity was the Super Bowl—no, nothing to do with the Rolling Stones and Keith Richard’s “death-like” appearance. My College roommate Keith and I were watching the game with our friend Dan and Keith’s Mom, Sister (who allegedly beat me in fantasy football play-offs), Keith’s wife, and daughters when they had the past Super Bowl MVP’s walk out. I turned to Keith and said, “You know it’s odd that none of these guys have died yet.” True, they are all alive.

You might figure, especially in the passing of the great Walter Payton, that some of these guys would no longer be among us. Yet they were all there. More power to them and I wish them long life and good health.

I guess a rock lifestyle of wanton sex, booze, drugs, smoking, and the like will hasten the Grim Reaper’s Calling more than staying fit and exercise. File this in the “No Kidding” folder, and after forty years of Super Bowls, one would say there is a testament to staying fit.

As for me, I motated 3.25 miles in 30 minutes on the elliptical machine. That was great.

As for our Zombies fans, rest in peace Paul—wouldn’t a great grave marker be “He’s not there…”?

Just kidding—but raise your hands if you saw that one coming...