Chicago Bears Final Grades For The Year

“Teach the ones below you something you've learned,
And learn from the ones above you;
Fear is your deepest wisdom...
For these last days...

Praying for the moon,
Hiding for the day,
These might be our last days...
I ain't gonna see you taken away...

Heading for the dawn,
Of our way of life,
You're welcome to give it your best try...
Look me in the eyes, oh, Bear-fans (my words),
This ain't your fairy tale...”

--Sonata Arctica from the song “This Ain’t Your Fairy Tale” from the CD Reckoning Night, 2004.


I did not want to write anything while really angry, but oh well; I am at least calmer, although the gout I am experiencing in my big toe has given me some angst.

For the Bears, the plan is simple, and much more simple than Lovie’s “we do not need to rebuild, we need to retool” type of thinking. I think we need to “remove” before we retool and rebuild. So here comes my “teaching grades” for the Bear students.

Speaking of “tools” here are my worst first:

Secondary: Tillman and Vasher who were given contract extensions both deserve D’s, but Vasher I am more willing to give an incomplete for the second year in the row. Finish a season, Nate. Corey Graham earns a B+ with promise showing. McBride—Mc Bye Bye—D.

Defensive Line: Last year we gave Tommy Harris some extra credit that he did not deserve and he has slipped to a D as well. Shows promise, but Harris, you are inconsistent. Dusty, D as well. No F’s on the line, but they need “extra effort” in pass rushing. Anderson is an incomplete because he was absent for much this year. Alex Brown deserves an A and Ogulinye deserves a B+. The rest, average: C.

Linebackers: Briggs played exceptionally well and deserves an A. Urlacher is not playing to his potential and makes careless errors at times. He needs to focus and thus earns a C. Hillenmeyer also a C, or a C minus. Good attitude is shown, but he lacks fundamental skills. Roach earns a C, but showing signs that he could improve.

Safeties: Mike Brown earns an A for effort, but has dropped off on his study skills, so he earns a B. Kevin Payne started to show some progress, but it quickly dropped off. I will give him a C with consideration for a counselor to look into a situation of ADD for him. Daniel Manning is earning a B with noted improvement over last year.

On Offense and how offensive can we go, here are the marks.

Quarterback: Kyle Orton earns a C. Showed promise early, but discovered he could not recover from a set-back. Such a shame, as he needs to focus. Kyle also needs to complete his homework and eliminate careless errors. Rex Grossman earns an F and is recommended to be held back a grade.

Running Backs: Matt Forte earned an A. New student to the class and showed he can work well with others. Kevin Smith earned a D for lack of consistency and too much absenteeism. It is recommended that he be reviewed for remediation. Adrian Peterson earned a C for carelessness and sloppy work. Jason McKie earned an incomplete due to prolonged illness.

Offensive Line: As a group, these students seem to have a gang mentality. They do not work well with others and they tend to show disrespect. Still Kruetz is recommend for a Behavioral Disorder review, Tate is recommended to be passed on to a more age-appropriate setting, Roberto Garza earned a B- and Josh Beekman earned a B+ as a promising start. Williams and St. Clair both failed miserably and I think they are copying from Metcalf’s lack of talent. St. Clair has a good attitude, but needs to be dropped to a lower grade, as he cannot compete with the others.

Receivers: They are all underachievers at this point. It is recommended that all be held back a grade and given a failure except for Hester who shows some promise with a C and Lloyd with a D, but be advised that Lloyd deserves some critical reviews if is not showing marked improvement next year. Booker, Davis, and the rest have earned solid F’s and I do not want them in my class any longer.

Tight Ends: Both Clark and Olsen have played well and shown they can work well with others. Olson needs to finish his work as he often takes short cuts, earning him a B. Clark needs to concentrate more, as he has earned a B-.

Special Teams: Maynard deserves an A for neatness and care. Gould earned a B and continues show great promise. Manning earned an A for effort and Hester has failed in this part of the class.

Coaches: Lovie Smith needs to show more compassion for his work and makes careless errors. He lacks maturity and may be over his head. It is recommended that he earns a D and be put under review. Babich and Turner need to be expelled for lack of self-control, lack of motivation, and having no imagination to their work. Both have failed.

Owner/General Manager: Jerry Angelo earns an F. Jerry may continue to insist he is gifted, but more than likely; he is a candidate for special education. For the McCaskey family, it is hoping that you remove yourself from the Board, as I still see favoritism from my higher-ups being shown.

You can take the teacher out of the school, but you can never take the school out of the teacher.

Class dismissed.