Animal Whispers And What They Say
“I want to be a lion;
Everybody wants to pass as cats...”
--The Counting Crows
The local paper ran an article on communication with pets through a medium called an animal whisperer. Go here for the article: http://www.pantagraph.com/articles/2008/06/07/news/doc4849a2dd4603e734296931.txt
I decided to test that theory and see if it was true and I found some startling discoveries as I listened to the whisper of the cats.
Chumley whispered that he likes food; and he likes it a lot. Since he is 30 pounds, he commented that he does not like my constant reference to his fat ass, as he is big-boned. He also feels the need to bite when over stimulated, which he whispered to me is because I am a guy. Apparently a guy does not like “heavy petting” (well Chum IS fat) from another guy.
He whispered that he is sick of Guinness’ constant whining and that Guinness has issues. He says he does not care one way or the other about Foggy and he is not mean or nice to her. He simply does not care about her, unless she eats the last of the food.
Guinness’ whisper was quite frightening. I think he is psychotic. He rambled a bit as he contrived a word salad of quasi-related sentences that mean nothing. He runs for no apparent reason and he told me it was because the voices in his head told him to. He has a crush on Julie Neumar and he hates Foggy because she is Satanic. He is also born-again; not in the Christian sense, but Guinness thinks he is the reincarnation of Curly Howard, which explains his ignorance.
Foggy only whispered that she wants the boys cats killed and then she wanted her ear scratched.
Sounds simplistic; sure and I will whisper to you pets for only $75.00 an hour.
What a load of crap; animal whisperers.
And the sad thing is that if they could talk, my cats would tell you everything I said.
I find it sad how the American public falls for such nonsense, while we underpay schools.
I find it sad how Americans are willing to throw away their money on this entertainment, when I could use it for beer.
I find it sad how Americans believe their pets are people (and trust me, I am one of them) but even I draw the line on “pet whisperers.”
And for the folks paying for a pet whisperer, I have something to whisper to you: “Sucker.”
--The Counting Crows
The local paper ran an article on communication with pets through a medium called an animal whisperer. Go here for the article: http://www.pantagraph.com/articles/2008/06/07/news/doc4849a2dd4603e734296931.txt
I decided to test that theory and see if it was true and I found some startling discoveries as I listened to the whisper of the cats.
Chumley whispered that he likes food; and he likes it a lot. Since he is 30 pounds, he commented that he does not like my constant reference to his fat ass, as he is big-boned. He also feels the need to bite when over stimulated, which he whispered to me is because I am a guy. Apparently a guy does not like “heavy petting” (well Chum IS fat) from another guy.
He whispered that he is sick of Guinness’ constant whining and that Guinness has issues. He says he does not care one way or the other about Foggy and he is not mean or nice to her. He simply does not care about her, unless she eats the last of the food.
Guinness’ whisper was quite frightening. I think he is psychotic. He rambled a bit as he contrived a word salad of quasi-related sentences that mean nothing. He runs for no apparent reason and he told me it was because the voices in his head told him to. He has a crush on Julie Neumar and he hates Foggy because she is Satanic. He is also born-again; not in the Christian sense, but Guinness thinks he is the reincarnation of Curly Howard, which explains his ignorance.
Foggy only whispered that she wants the boys cats killed and then she wanted her ear scratched.
Sounds simplistic; sure and I will whisper to you pets for only $75.00 an hour.
What a load of crap; animal whisperers.
And the sad thing is that if they could talk, my cats would tell you everything I said.
I find it sad how the American public falls for such nonsense, while we underpay schools.
I find it sad how Americans are willing to throw away their money on this entertainment, when I could use it for beer.
I find it sad how Americans believe their pets are people (and trust me, I am one of them) but even I draw the line on “pet whisperers.”
And for the folks paying for a pet whisperer, I have something to whisper to you: “Sucker.”
posted by Eric Sweetwood at 11:18 AM
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