Was It Really That Long Ago?

“We're the Bears Shufflin' Crew.Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you.We're so bad we know we're good.Blowin' your mind like we knew we would.You know we're just struttin' for funStruttin' our stuff for everyone.We're not here to start no trouble.We're just here to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.”

--(I think) Willie Gault of the Chicago Bears.



Ah…it is Super Bowl Sunday.

This is the date in which millions of people come together to gain calories and laughs.

I shall be joining Keith for some “jerk chicken” Mexican dishes, Papa Murphy’s Take and Bake Pizzas (my humble contributions), chips, snacks, a beer or two, and the like. Yes, this is what we Americans call fun.

Oh, and there is a football game on. I really cannot stand either team.

Bill Bellechek is a complete, slimey cheating loser; Tom Brady is a punk; Randy Moss is at the very least an accused criminal (not to mention a drug user—thought we forgot that one, huh?); Tom Coughlin is a whiney embarrassment; Eli Manning is the LUCKIEST player in the NFL—period; The Giant Defense is extremely overrated; and neither team has a very good running back in my opinion (of course, neither do the Bears).

So in order to celebrate, last evening I watched Super Bowl XX when the BEARS could BEAT THE PATRIOTS. To be honest, it is a boring game and I always thought that the Media and Payton could have handled his not scoring a touchdown much better than they did. If you watch the game, and you can read lips, there is a scene when the camera pans the sidelines at the end of the third/beginning of the fourth quarter and a very apologetic looking Jim McMahon puts his head in Walter’s shoulder pads, hugs him and says something. Walter then says, interpreted from reading his lips, “Yeah, it’s ok, we’ll get it, I know” or something to that affect as he pats him on the back. McMahon later says to the press that on his second sneak, the play was supposed to be a handoff to Walter and he (McMahon) messed it up.

So if Walter gets the ball, everything is perfect in Chicago Bear World, but we all know nothing is ever perfect in Chicago Bear World.

Shinie brownie point for anyone who can remember the half-time show. In this day and age of decent rock acts and the like, in 1986, the halftime show was “Up with People” and an ad about “Hands Across America.” I wonder where they want us to put “Up With People” and Hands Across America was just so stupid. In college, a guy named Darren wanted our floor to do a mock of that and call it Hands Across The Street, but no one showed if I remember. He was funny, though.

In college, on Barton Floor Three at THE Illinois State University (that’s right #100 out of the top 100 Colleges and Universities in the country), we were convinced that this was the greatest game on the greatest day with the greatest team EVER! We, of course, were correct.

This game today will be mired in controversy as Spygate takes an ugly twist, the Football Players Union takes an ugly twist on former players (Here’s a clue NFL players—fire Gene Upshaw as he has been a pain in the neck and for decades—he is only concerned about himself), and fans wonder if the NFC has any chance. I would love to see the books, by the way, regarding salary caps and the New England Patriots, but that is a different time.

And another slight interlude:



If you are interested, The Super Bowl 22 years ago had some interesting twists:

1.) Gault caught and ran for over 130 yards and strangely DID NOT DROP A PASS!
2.) McMahon threw for about 260 yards
3.) Matt Suhey scored the first touchdown and had an incredible first half, gaining at least five first downs.
4.) Leslie Frazier destroyed his knee on the “artificial turf” and never played again after this game. Currently Les is a sought-after Head Coaching candidate.
5.) Reggie Phillips who replaced Frazier turned an interception into a touchdown.
6.) Richard Dent (not winning his HoF bid yet) may have been voted MVP, but Wilson and Hampton could have gotten the same.
7.) Keith Van Horne leveled this guy for laying on McMahon in the last ten seconds which should have resulted in a penalty.
8.) I still think Walter called “heads” and changed his mind to say “tails” when asked what he said on the coin toss.
9.) In the first quarter, the Patriots only had the ball for 2:22.
10.) The last player to score for the Bears was a safety by Henry Waechter.
11.) Jim Morrissey, then a rookie, almost scored a TD on an interception.
12.) Steve McMichael caused one of Dent’s “caused” fumbles by hitting the player first and Dent poked the ball out.
13.) Singletary was knocked out for a moment when Perry hit him.
14.) Steve Fuller only completed three passes out of about ten attempts.
15.) Three of the Bear touchdowns were from less than three yards (two QB sneaks and one Perry leap).
16.) If you watch the game Merlin Olson keeps going off about McKinnon making a clip in the first quarter—upon watching this play ten times last night and sick of Olson’s whining, I can honestly say OLSON IS COMPLETELY WRONG. McKinnon started in the side and remained there. No clip.
17.) Red Cashum was the ref with that goofy southern drawl.
18.) They showed a couple of scenes where then Bears owner Mike McCaskey is on the sidelines and no one stands near him or talks to him; except Willie Gault who looks nervous and as if he is trying to get away.
19.) Among my favorite camera shots is when McMahon rips off his helmet and calls time out when the plays did not come in fast enough and through reading of the lips, one can tell he says “F#ck it Mike, Sonovabitch.”
20.) This game ranks as number seven in the most watched events in television history.

Today’s game, in comparison, is “just a game.”