The Reruns of Our Lives

“I’ve got thirteen channels of shi# on the tv to choose from.” Roger Watters of Pink Floyd from Nobody Home from the LP The Wall, 1979.

In A weird sense of irony, I really do not rewatch movies too often or own too many DVD or VHS tapes of films. Usually I see it once, upon occasion twice, and then I am done. Cartoons and Superhero stuff aside—and my classic Rock performances—I am not a fan of rewatching films.

Television is another thing completely.

I have seen every episode of M*A*S*H so often I can recite nearly the entire script. Same is true for Seinfeld and The Brady Bunch. Since TVLAND has entered my life (thanks Satellite Dish and SCREW YOU CABLE COMPANY BASTARDS), I am gaining this power over All in The Family.

It is odd, but I like TV reruns.

Here are my favorites:

M*A*S*H—I love the first three seasons, liked the next three, and am now frustrated with the last few. First season of Winchester is OK, but after that—nope. When Frank Burns left, we saw major shark-jumping. Best episode: Hawkeye and Trapper convince Frank to put stock in Pioneer Aviation.

Everybody Loves Raymond—Funny as can be. Honest assessment of relationships and enough ironic humor to keep me entertained. I never watched the show when it originally aired, until the last half of the final season—but the reruns are great. Best Episode: The PMS episode—hands down among the greatest things ever on TV.

West Wing—Talk about a fantastic show. Many of my friends say I remind them of Josh Lymon—I am not sure if that is an insult or not. Great acting and the only weak season in my opinion was when the daughter was kidnapped. Best episode: The first one is tough to beat.

Honeymooners—Quite frankly, perhaps, the most laugh-filled 30 minutes for every given episode possible. Best episode—The golf one (Hello, ball) or the one where the boys learn etiquette.

The Andy Griffith Show—The Don Knotts years were the best. This was a cleverly written and acted show. I still want to pick up my phone, jingle it, and wait for the operator. Best episode: Barney’s New Car, or The Aunt Bea Pickle episode (Kerosene Cucumbers)

Seinfeld—perhaps I have watched it too much, as I have noted the scripts were weaker when Elaine changed her hair. See if you agree. Best Episode: The Bet—by far among the greatest half hours ever.

All In The Family—Ok, when he bought the bar and the kids moved out, it was time for us to move on—but really a year or so before that it was just as lousy. The show was “groundbreaking” and funny and topical until about 1977. Best Episode: Archie is in jail when going down to get Mike away from a Peace Rally—or Stretch Cunningham’s funeral.

Brady Bunch, yes it is stupid and unreal, but kind of groovy in its own way. There were some great moments on this show. The kids were funny, Marcia was, well—when I was ten, Marcia was pretty damn hot, and the jokes were funny to a ten year old. Best episode: Peter’s Search for a Personality or Marcia’s Broken Nose.

Addams Family—I honestly feel this show was way ahead of its time and very comical—especially Lurch. What a great supporting cast and the sly humor showed a darker side to our world, turned comic. I know it did not last long, but what a clever show. Best Episode: Morticia goes to the school and complains about how cruel Grimm’s Fairy Tales are to the monsters when Pugsly and Wednesday come home crying. It was the first episode.

NYPD Blue—I love this show, it is one of the best ever—if not THE best drama on TV. I know the critics hate seasons of this show and the Ricky Schroeder years were weak, but what a classic show. Best Episode: the first episode with Jimmy Smits.

C.O.P.S.—Love the reruns. I can watch this show over and over. The criminals are morons and the cops are pretty cool. Best Episode—Name One—they are all equally interesting.

E.R.—Ok, once Clooney (the Man who Ruined Batman films—just had to say it) left, the show was terrible. Still, it was fun and interesting for a while. Best Episode: When Carter was late from his vacation—which was the first episode of the second season.

Reality Shows—With the exception of C.O.P.S. there are not many good ones, but Survivor is fun. I cannot pinpoint an exact episode—let’s say the All-Star Cast season was the best. Enjoy jail, Richard Hatch, you MORON!

And from Britain—Fawlty Towers or Monty Python’s Flying Circus. I have tears in my eyes from certain skits. Best Fawlty Towers—Where Basil hits his head and insults the German guests; Monty Python—again they are all great, but THE BISHOP or THE DEAD PARROT skit were my personal favorites. Monty Python was weak when Cleese left, but that gave us Fawlty Towers—so cheers to both.

Thank Goodness for TVLAND, NICK AT NITE, and SATELLITE DISH--did I mention I was not a fan of the Cable Company Fat Cats who extort money in their evil little games?