The Road To Recovery

“Pain in my heart
Won’t let me be
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, I wake up restless night in misery.
Lord.”

Mick Jagger—The Rolling Stones from Pain In My Heart, 1964.

(Note: The above is the last picture of Pepto and I taken: the bloodspot on my eye was a result of being out for a while during surgery.)

News of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

They say, after heart surgery, that one becomes stronger with each passing day. That, I have found, is not true—as I measure the success by weeks. You know, this week was better than last week, and so on.

I am becoming stronger, to be honest. Monday I started Cardiac Rehab and I have been “upped” on my levels of exercise on Wednesday and Friday. My MET level while walking is currently 4.149, and when I left Cardiac Rehab last time, 18 months ago, it was 4.5. That is a huge increase in a short time. That is a positive.

The residual pain in pectorals is slowly diminishing unless I aggravate it; like I did yesterday carrying some text books. I have to learn my limits.

I feel that all will continue to progress well.

Here are some handy dandy tips that I have heard after this surgery and I heard 18 months ago. This is light-hearted (pun intended) so please do not take offense, but live and learn. Remember, it takes a great deal to offend me; but some people need to use their brains more.

Five rules of conduct one should exercise to a recovering surgical patient.

One: Never say, “Wow, you lost weight.” Of course I lost weight—I did not eat food for two and a half weeks. Food tasted like chewy air. Severe weight loss means one is weaker.

Two: Try not to compare similar surgical procedures. Someone from my work place was telling me, “My Uncle had heart surgery three months ago. He was doing fine, and then wham, he had a problem and had to go back in.” Yeah, thanks for that story.

Three: Try not to “one-up” a surgical patient. These are the most evil people in the universe with the exception of #4. Again, a person approached me and said, “You had heart surgery? Yeah, that would suck, but not nearly as much pain as I went through with a Gall Bladder surgery two years ago. Oh the pain was tremendous and I could not sit up for nine months…and blah blah blah.” It is not a contest.

Four: Try not to talk poorly of someone who is out of action because they are sick. These are the sleazy people who try to take cheap shots at someone when they are not present to defend themselves. Remember, sometimes the people you are speaking to will take offense by your insensitivity and then “tattle” to the infirmed person. Then you have given the infirmed person the best reason to live: REVENGE. I have made a list of four people who will soon wish I died on the surgical table.

Five: Try not to undermine the recovery process. These are the people who encourage surgical patients to eat bad food, drink stuff, or do other things that will eventually harm them. Add to that, do not put the patient down with comments like, “Oh a little salt will not hurt you,” or “C’mon, what do Doctors know, you can push it a bit.” Let the patient go at his/her pace.

Hoping you and yours a happy recovery process in whatever ails you now or in your future. I promise to never compare it to heart surgery from which I lost weight, it hurt like a sonofabitch, has been adaptable in the recovery process, not as painful as most surgeries--but nothing to sneeze at (literally because sneezing hurts), and I can no longer add salt to my food to as a result.

See you on a treadmill or eliptical machine soon.